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February 17, 2015
Alas, Kylie the Kyloe cow is no more.
Alas, Kylie the Kyloe cow is no more.

Yes, it’s true. Kylie is being laid to rest.

Kylie being the giant fibreglass cow which has been hanging around the exterior wall of Edinburgh’s Kyloe restaurant for the last few years.

After a long battle, the Rutland Street restaurant has finally bowed to pressure from the council and removed Kylie.

A moo-ving ceremony

Tomorrow, from 10.30am, the restaurant will be holding a funeral and wake for Kylie the Coo.

Bystanders will be able to watch Kylie’s funeral procession. Naturally, the pall bearers will be dressed as cows. A gospel choir will be singing about Kylie’s life and there will be a eulogy for the dear departed.

The wake for Kylie will be held at Kyloe directly after the funeral.

Suggested songs for the wake playlist include Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t Stew Lovely, Paul Simon’s 50 Ways to Leave Your Liver and, of course, Van Halen’s Rump.