Now that the more traditional British summer weather seems to have started in earnest, it’s only natural that a man’s thoughts should turn to the barbecue. After all, few things say ‘Scottish July’ quite as definitively as the smell of wet charcoal.
I’m a supermarket-bought-charcoals-in-a-tin-foil-box kind of guy but it seems that I’m missing out on a whole world of fancy pants men’s BBQ equipment.
And make no mistake, BBQ gubbins is marketed squarely at the bloke in the comedy French maid pinny. How else would you explain the B&Q Thunder Bay, not so much a BBQ grill as a manly fusion of a storm and burnt sausages. Other manufacturers appeal to the barbie’s Australian heritage by calling themselves the Boomerang Burner Elite and the Outback Platinum 6. It’s surely only a matter of time before some one starts marketing the Mad Max Snag Incinerator.
Max’s dog got nervous when his master fancied a BBQ
I’m particularly drawn to the Weber Genesis, a name that suggests you are not merely flipping burgers but actually creating your very own barbecued Eden. You can imagine the telly ad: ‘And on the fourth day, Weber created the Genesis: a stainless steel grill with built-in work areas, warming rack and (this is the clincher for blokes) a tool holder.’
They all look very impressive but I suspect that they might get blown into the weeds by the Coleman Diamento. As featured here in GQ, this bad boy doesn’t just cook. It cooks by infrared, convection AND conduction. Prices seem to start at a little under three grand so you might want to tighten up your garage security to Defcon stage more money than sense.
Having checked down the back of the sofa, I’m still some way short of the required wonga so might just leave it to the experts. Both the Edinburgh and Glasgow Mongolian Barbecues offer an interestingly alternative take on the barbie while the Ad Lib restaurants dish up chargrilled flavours without the threat of rain stopping play. If your heart is set on eating your burger in the open air then Sloans has a BBQ in its courtyard every Saturday.