Photo of
December 4, 2009
Bad Santa: not a fan of Christmas lunch
Bad Santa: not a fan of Christmas lunch

The Christmas party season is about to go into full meltdown mode. Before long, the chat at every office water cooler is going to be about what really happened between Shaz from accounts and Daz from the post room while the managment will be conducting a full scale criminal investigation into which smutty little Leonardo defaced the employee of the month portrait.

My favourite tale of Christmas party debauchery comes from an unlikely source. A few years back, I was phoning around restaurants asking for tales of Christmas hijinks for a newspaper piece. One restaurant, which must remain anonymous, said that almost all of their guests usually behaved very well. The exception was the boys in blue from the local cop shop whose Christmas night out made one of the Bullingdon Club‘s hell-raisers look like a nuns’ prayer meeting. Apparently, they disgraced themselves so thoroughly that they were barred from ever booking in again.

There will be no such shenanigans at the Christmas bashes offered by the following 5pm members:

With two AA rosettes under their belts for the second year running, you just know that Glasgow’s La Parmigiana is going to be too classy to have cheap crackers at their Christmas lunch. Instead, they are serving a menu of Italian classics. Think tagliolini pasta with a crab sauce and mains like the slow cooked roast pork with spicy apple sauce.

At The Arches, the Christmas menu has some funky exotic choices. Their slow braised honey and cider caramelized pork belly comes with pumpkin lasagne, roast baby onions and a blackcurrant jus while veggie options include the goat’s cheese fritter studded with walnuts with bok choi stir fry, aubergine babaganoosh, orange and saffron sauce.

Bit enthusiastic with the brandy/Christmas pud at Sapporo Teppanyaki
The chefs could be a bit enthusiastic with the brandy/Christmas pud interface at Sapporo Teppanyaki

There is a similarly far flung flavor to the Christmas menu at Sapporo Teppanyaki, one of 5pm’s newest members and the subject of a couple of previous blogs. There is the option to have turkey skewers and cranberry sauce followed by Christmas pud ice cream. Or you could rock out with grilled Japanese dumplings, California roll tempura and beef fillet served with chilli and garlic.

Staying with cockle-warming dishes, Slumdog Bar and Kitchen has recently joined the 5pm pack and Charan Gill’s new venture is inviting Christmas revelers to slum it in style this year.

Slumdog’s Christmas lunch menu starters include: jai hot chilli chicken; potato and lentil patti; Slumdog chicken roll; pakora jai ho; seekh kebab and chicken pakora. The mains, meanwhile, include: butter chicken masala; South Indian garlic chilli chicken; Punjabi chana; lamb pardesi; lahori lamb, all served with a selection of naan breads and pilau rice. Natch, turkey and all the trimmings are also available.

In Edinburgh, the Sheraton has rolled out around half a dozen different festive menus. Our eye was caught by the Christmas Day offer in Santini which allows diners to eat from a Scottish or Mediterranean menu.

The Mediterranean menu includes smoked venison and confit duck salad as well as roasted monkfish fillet in citrus sauce with Marsala carrots. The Scottish menu features beetroot mousse and jelly with chervil sour cream and fine salad and a fillet of beef in a plaid with wild mushroom stuffing and sauce perigourdine.

On the other side of town, Christmas means fiesta at Igg’s and Barioja. As Spanish as a glass of chilled manzanilla, Iggy Campos is saying ‘Adios’ to turkey and ‘Benvenido amigos’ to a long list of tapas. Lunch might start with a selection of air-dried Iberico meats and tomato chilli jam before moving on to a plate of chorizo, salchicha, cider and peppers. Polish it off with a Spanish date and almond Christmas pudding and crema Catalana.

The Cafe Andaluz restaurants in both Edinburgh and Glasgow have also launched special Christmas menus. So, if you are salivating for pan-fried wild mushrooms on toast, octopus in smoky paprika oil or some spicy minced lamb then you may want to have a peek at what’s on offer in Glasgow’s city centre, its west end and in the Edinburgh branch.