Photo of
May 23, 2012
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Salt Made from Tears: unlikely to be on supermarket shelves anytime soon

Fancy seasoning your food with salt made from tears? No, how about salt made from snot?

Nope, me neither. However, the blog was intrigued by a press release informing us about a range of salts made from collecting the by-products of human emotions, a new product range from Hoxton Street Monster Supplies.

According to the blurb, the salts are made with the freshest human tears which are gently boiled, released into shallow crystallisation tanks, then harvested by hand and finally rinsed in brine.

The range includes: Salt Made from Tears of Anger; Salt Made from Tears of Sorrow; Salt Made from Tears of Anger; Salt Made from Tears of Laughter; Salt Made from Tears Shed While Chopping Onions and Salt Made from Tears Shed While Sneezing.

It seems unlikely doesn’t it? But then so does the Le Whif inhalable chocolate; snortable Colombian asparagus and ice cream made from breast milk.

At least salt made from tears is an idea which has some wit about it and I can just about imagine a chef on the Great British Menu unveiling a jar as his secret weapon to win over the judges.

Hoxton Street Monster Supplies prides itself on being London’s only purveyor of quality goods for monsters of every kind. Apparently, many of their customers have been coming to them for centuries or indeed longer and, they claim, ‘whether you’re a Vampire, Werewolf, Sasquatch or some Thing else entirely, we have everything you need’.

In the end, I was almost disappointed to read that while Salt made from Tears is a real product, Hoxton Street Monster Supplies is a front for the Ministry of Stories – a charity set up by the author Nick Hornby to encourage creative writing among young people.

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The shop front at Hoxton Street Monster Supplies. Note that customers are politely asked to refrain from eating staff.