The 5pm Dining blog is feeling a little shell-shocked after recently receiving a Valentine’s press release entitled Ten Foods to Enjoy in the Bedroom.

Now, we are not sensitive types who blush at the briefest glimpse of a Wolf Hall codpiece.

We will happily snigger at a misshapen item of root veg and can seldom dodge a double entendre without feeling some regret that we didn’t try it on for size.

Nonetheless, the suggestions, which came from a well-known restaurant chain which will remain nameless, had us choking on our mid-morning Rich Tea.

We can see where they are going with chocolate, honey and ice. It was the other suggestions which seemed much less palatable.

We are still trying to bleach our mind’s eye after reading their proposals for introducing chorizo sausage into your bedroom repertoire.

Getting amorous with aioli

Perhaps more disturbing was their suggestion that aioli, Spanish garlic mayonnaise, might be useful in the bedroom as a food of love.

Could there be anything less seductive than your other half bursting through the bedroom door with a bucket of aioli in their hands and a glint in their eye?

No.

We don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble but there doesn’t seem to be any compelling evidence that any food is an aphrodisiac.

Or at least not in the sense that eating it will immediately increase your libido.

Flattering, low lighting is much more likely to set the mood for romance than sluicing down a dozen oysters and noting with a wink that ‘that’s how Casanova did it’.

That’s not to suggest that dining a deux is a dead end when it comes to sparking up a little passion.

We liked the following ideas:

Hutchesons

In Glasgow, Hutchison’s is running a set Valentine menu which features oysters, a Chateaubriand steak to share and a trio of desserts.

We also liked their suggestion that you celebrate St Val’s with a glass of Bollinger over breakfast.

Baby Grand

A few streets away, the Baby Grand is running a Valentine menu that ends with a dessert selection which includes a rose petal and berry parfait or a ‘perfectly pink Pavlova’.

We would also be attracted by the thought of the Baby Grand’s house pianist tickling the ivories.

Juan Chihuahua

If you prefer more of a fiesta atmosphere then you could slip over to Juan Chihuahua on Sauchiehall Street.

The Mexican-themed cantina and tequileria will be offering diners two tequila shots and a bottle of wine or frozen margarita along with two courses from their Valentine menu for £20 a head.

29 – The Grill at the Square

For lots of diners, any sort of celebratory meal would ideally include a steak. At 29 – the Grill at the Square on Royal Exchange Place, steak is very much a speciality of the house.

Their Saturday Valentine’s meal features a sirloin steak with a Diane sauce, traditionally made with brandy, red wine, mushrooms, cream and mustard.

If you have ever wondered what differences there are between the various cuts of steak then take a peek at this clip in which David Friel, the Head Chef at 29, talks us all about the beef.

Cranston’s

On the other side of the M8, you could go for a room with a view and book into Cranston’s on Princes Street.

The restaurant has views to the Scott Monument and beyond while the Valentine’s menu features enticing ingredients such as honey-roasted duck breast, oysters, pancetta-wrapped monkfish plus a rib eye steak from Oban served with a whisky sauce.

Including a glass of Prosecco, it costs £26.95 per person for two courses.

Eleven Brasserie

Eleven Brasserie @ No 11 Brunswick Street is another option if you are looking for a restaurant where the setting is as impressive as the food.

Part of an impressive Georgian townhouse, their Valentine menu includes seared scallops on a blood orange purée and Loch Duart salmon served on a saffron-smoked haddock, mussel and spinach fricassee.

It’s also handy for the Vue Cinema at the Omni Centre where, we understand, they may be showing something called Fifty Shades of Grey. Is it to do with a Pantone colour chart?